Post by doolgirl on Jul 20, 2016 17:33:23 GMT -5
Hey guys I am really sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I have had an incredibly busy week and trying to do a DR enttry on my phone is so frustrating. I finally have a moment to get on my computer and actually type this up.
So first of yay I made it to final three and all on my own sort of in that I won that all import final four HOH. Great comp btw. I wish I could have won the veto yesterday..I was getting close, but just got too late of a shot. But it had always been the plan to be in final three with jake and cody, and I am ultimately happy with that decision.
We had a big argument on Sunday regarding Adam. I didn't want to vote him out. I was fine with him going, however I wanted to vote Carleen and let Jake break the tie. This was simply because Adam had become very loyal towards me. He even offered to NOT use veto on himself should he have won it that week to keep me safe. It was just me wanting to be a good friend. Cody threw a fit about it saying I just wanted to do this to look good to the jury. It really hurt my feelings because that was not my motive at all. My motive was just me trying to be a good friend. I ultimately went with what would make Jake and COdy happy and voted Adam out, but I wasn't happy about it. Hopefully Adam doesn't hold any grudges. Cody and I have talked everything out since and things are fine.
In terms of this final three. The only way I make it to final two is to win. And the chances of me winning HOH are so slim. I am beyond stressed out in my person life currently. I mean beyond. Like at the near point of breaking. I am working way too much and trying to deal with my father's health. They are worried about liver cancer as a possibility. He is having a big procedure tomorrow that will hopefully give us answers. I really don't know what I will do if that is what it is. I think and pray the doctor is just be diligent and ruling it out, because there are several other reasons for what is going on with him, but I am worried sick. My dad got laid off earlier this year. He got a good severance packagae and was able to stay on their insurance for six months. That ends in September. They live about four hours away from me. I am nurse and so my mom is always calling on me to explain things to her. My sister is a mess..that's a whole other story, and so I am like the glue holding everyone together and keeping people from worrying too much. I feel like I am supporting everyone which is honestly fine I don't mind, but it would really just be nice to have someone ask me for once how I am doing. But it's okay. I don't like to talk about my personal life ever I am very private person in real life and I should honestly just change that but I don't want people thinking I am crying out for attention.
I currently work two jobs. One full time gig and then a part time/as needed in a hospital. Hospital nursing is stressful. My hours always suck. So tomorrow I have an interview for a pediatric after hours clinic here in OKC. My hours would be very stable and I wouldn't have to work as much. It would be a great replacement for my hospital job as I do need to keep two jobs for now. anyways I am really sorry to throw that all out on here, but I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and at the moment this seemed the most appropriate spot.
I am going to try as hard and as much as I can to win this last HOH, but if it doesn't work out it is what it is. I think it means a lot more to Jake then it does me, so if I can't win I hope he does.
So first of yay I made it to final three and all on my own sort of in that I won that all import final four HOH. Great comp btw. I wish I could have won the veto yesterday..I was getting close, but just got too late of a shot. But it had always been the plan to be in final three with jake and cody, and I am ultimately happy with that decision.
We had a big argument on Sunday regarding Adam. I didn't want to vote him out. I was fine with him going, however I wanted to vote Carleen and let Jake break the tie. This was simply because Adam had become very loyal towards me. He even offered to NOT use veto on himself should he have won it that week to keep me safe. It was just me wanting to be a good friend. Cody threw a fit about it saying I just wanted to do this to look good to the jury. It really hurt my feelings because that was not my motive at all. My motive was just me trying to be a good friend. I ultimately went with what would make Jake and COdy happy and voted Adam out, but I wasn't happy about it. Hopefully Adam doesn't hold any grudges. Cody and I have talked everything out since and things are fine.
In terms of this final three. The only way I make it to final two is to win. And the chances of me winning HOH are so slim. I am beyond stressed out in my person life currently. I mean beyond. Like at the near point of breaking. I am working way too much and trying to deal with my father's health. They are worried about liver cancer as a possibility. He is having a big procedure tomorrow that will hopefully give us answers. I really don't know what I will do if that is what it is. I think and pray the doctor is just be diligent and ruling it out, because there are several other reasons for what is going on with him, but I am worried sick. My dad got laid off earlier this year. He got a good severance packagae and was able to stay on their insurance for six months. That ends in September. They live about four hours away from me. I am nurse and so my mom is always calling on me to explain things to her. My sister is a mess..that's a whole other story, and so I am like the glue holding everyone together and keeping people from worrying too much. I feel like I am supporting everyone which is honestly fine I don't mind, but it would really just be nice to have someone ask me for once how I am doing. But it's okay. I don't like to talk about my personal life ever I am very private person in real life and I should honestly just change that but I don't want people thinking I am crying out for attention.
I currently work two jobs. One full time gig and then a part time/as needed in a hospital. Hospital nursing is stressful. My hours always suck. So tomorrow I have an interview for a pediatric after hours clinic here in OKC. My hours would be very stable and I wouldn't have to work as much. It would be a great replacement for my hospital job as I do need to keep two jobs for now. anyways I am really sorry to throw that all out on here, but I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and at the moment this seemed the most appropriate spot.
I am going to try as hard and as much as I can to win this last HOH, but if it doesn't work out it is what it is. I think it means a lot more to Jake then it does me, so if I can't win I hope he does.